I can’t believe it’s been a whole year, one whole revolution around the sun, since you joined us in the world. My world completely changed the second you took your first breath. I knew then that you would be my greatest adventure yet.
Happy first birthday, my sweet baby.
You’re the one who made me mama and there aren’t enough words in any language, enough stars in the sky, a number high enough to describe the depth of my love for you. If there’s one thing in this life that I am absolutely, positively sure about, it’s that I’ve never loved anything or anyone like I love you, and that will never stop. Ever.
I can’t believe it’s been a whole year, one whole revolution around the sun, since you joined us in the world. My world completely changed the second you took your first breath. Clear as day, I can remember that first scream you let out, letting us know you were here and alive. I was so, so tired after working so hard to bring you into the world, and I could barely keep my eyes open, but I saw you and I’d never seen anything so perfect in my life. I’ll never forget when I held you for the first time, so small and snuggly, and the feeling of pride and joy just coursing through my veins. I knew then that you would be my greatest adventure yet.
And what an adventure this first year has been for us! Those first few weeks and months were tough – I’ll be honest. You were brand new and your daddy and I were just trying to figure out how to keep you alive, and how to be your parents. You’d turned our world upside down, and we were all trying to navigate feeding schedules, sleep patterns and praying for poop. But then, all of a sudden, it felt like we’d hit our stride. We got a good rhythm, you and I, and it’s just stayed that way. We’re buddies, you know?
You’ve been the best thing I’ve ever done. Every single day you surprise me, and you make me want to be better. Sure, this first year has been about helping you thrive and grow and learn, but I’ve done all those things too. You are the driving force in my life, pushing me to be the best version of myself I can be because I want to set a good example for you, I want to be around when you get older, I want to be someone you’re proud of, just like I’m proud of you.
I know you’re only one, but trust me, kiddo, you have taught me so, so much. You taught me how strong I am. You are the living proof of how strong my body is, that I was able to bring you into this world and keep you alive and safe. Your existence reinforced that I can do hard things, even when it doesn’t seem like it. Mentally, physically, and emotionally, having you brought me to the edge of what I thought was possible and pushed me to the limit only to show myself that I am capable. Keep going – that’s what we do, even when it’s hard, or scary, or something we don’t want to do, because we can, and it’s the right thing to do.
You’ve taught me more than I can even say about love. The love I have for you is more than I could have ever imagined possible. You will have it forever and ever, to the ends of the earth and beyond, and there’s nothing you could ever, ever do that would make me not love you. 1 Corinthians 13 tells us that love is patient and love is kind; it tells us that love is not self-seeking, and that it keeps no record of wrongs; it tells us that love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres, and loving you has been all of those things. Loving you has showed me and continues to remind me of what real, true love is. It’s limitless and everlasting.
Since you arrived in our lives, how I love your daddy changed for the better, too. I’ve always loved your daddy, ever since I first saw him, but then you showed up and I saw him love you too, and, just when I didn’t think my heart could get any bigger, any more filled with love, it did – my heart grew, and it just filled all the way up with love. Watching you and your daddy snuggle and play warms my heart and brings me so much joy that sometimes I have to pinch myself just to prove that all of this isn’t a dream.
Oh, my little lovebug, I love every single thing about you. From the top of your head down to the very tips of your toes, you are perfect, and you are loved. I love how you have your daddy’s eyes, but you’ve got my smile. Your daddy and I can already tell that you’re going to have a stubborn streak that gives both of us a run for our money. The way you stick your tongue out when you’re focused really hard on something, the way you light up when we sing to you, the way you giggle and screech when I catch you doing something you know you’re not really supposed to be doing… you’re just my favorite.
With every milestone, from the first smile, the first time you rolled over, the first tooth, learning how to sit up on your own, how to crawl, then how to pull yourself up, then standing, and now walking, I am just so, so proud of you. I can’t wait to watch you continue to learn new things and explore this world. I love the tiny human you are growing up to be and I’m beyond grateful that God chose me to be your mama. We’ve been blessed beyond measure with you, sweetheart.
I love you, Peanut.
Featured Photo Credit: Kellie Hetler for Hetler Photography